Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, gals and gents! I hope that you spent your day surrounded by warmth, good food, good company and love! I also hope that you enjoy these little pictures I found. LOL

I’m aware that I didn’t mention one thing about presents. One thing I have learned about presents and the like growing up poor is that you have to make each holiday important, sometimes without any financial backing, and find your own meaning of the holiday apart from the presents so that it doesn’t take on a high level of importance and potentially ruin your day when you’re not able to do all you’d like. So while I do find presents and gift-giving to be wonderful (gift-giving, ironically, is one of the main ways I show my love), I know that it is the feeling that stays with me long after the gift and it is the feeling that I always try to recapture the following holiday season.

My two favorite Christmas memories were Christmases where I received little or nothing tangible at all. The first Christmas like that was when I was 6, and my mom and stepdad #1 (there are two lol) didn’t have much for the holidays. I had already been told that Christmas wasn’t going to be a huge affair and to try not to be too disappointed. When I woke up Christmas morning, there were only two presents underneath the tree for me. One was a childrens’ Bible, with illustrations of different Bible stories hand-drawn by children. The other gift was a plush pink robe.

There wasn’t a toy, an item of clothing, or some media source in sight and I was perfectly fine with that. I realized that I wouldn’t have been disappointed anyway, and I could tell that the two gifts I was given that year were given with love. I was elated with what I received. I had to move a lot when I was a kid, so I ended up gaining...then losing…a number of my toys along the way. No matter where I went or how many things I’d accumulated and lost due to all of the moves, though, somehow that Bible stayed with me. As a matter of fact, I still own it. It is a cherished belonging of mine to this day.

I just thought this was cute. It reminds me of the limited edition Black Barbie Mattel released for
Christmas when I was a kid. I wanted that doll so bad.

It’s cherished to me for a number of reasons, firstly being that I grew up in church, so I have never had a problem with Bibles. I also liked that it was drawn out by children and with me being 6 at the time, I thought it was really cool. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a dork because I liked things like that. Who knows. I also cherished that Bible because I knew it was given with love, it represented a Christmas that I wasn’t given a lot in material goods but was still one of the best days of my life, and because it was something that I wouldn’t outgrow. The stories I read in that Bible are still fun for me to hear today. Don’t judge me. Lol The lessons still apply, and I still think the drawings are cute. LOL That year, to make up for the lack of presents, we spent the rest of the day in pajamas, watching Looney Tunes on VHS (we were current with that trend LOL) and snacking until my mom was done with Christmas dinner. I don’t even remember what we had; I just remember being and feeling loved. That’s what I took from the day.

 

I used to have a chair like this when I was a kid but it was black. Coincidentally, my brother and I
used to fall asleep in the chair.

The next Christmas on my favorite list was when I was 19, and stepdad #2 had run out on us for what felt like the 100^th time and yet again, left us in a financial lurch. Unlike the other times he’d done that though, we were in an actual house this time and had utilities to pay. The other times we were in public housing, which doesn’t have utilities or rent. This time though, bills were in the hundreds, we had nothing, and there was no money to spare for Christmas presents. There were 5 kids, myself included, by this time and the youngest was 7.

Thankfully, we're all together today. I'm the smallest candle. lol 

I was a year away from winning my disability case, so I obviously wasn’t working. I don’t believe I was even leaving the house at that time. My mom’s health is spades worse than mine, so she wasn’t working either. The sole source of financial support came from stepdad #2 and he’d dipped out. When we figured out that he wasn’t going to be getting anyone anything for Christmas, we pulled the kids together and let them know what was going on. I got the idea for us to bond a little more as a family by not focusing on the material gifts and giving each other handmade gifts instead. We thought the kids would be really sad or mad, but they weren’t. They accepted the situation, they said they knew it wasn’t our faults, and they stepped up to the plate. Boy was that a relief! There aren’t many things worse than seeing the disappointment sink a child’s face and we weren’t looking forward to that 4 times over. Thankfully though, we didn’t have to see it. They were amazingly receptive to making gifts instead of receiving them.

 

Santy and his wife didn't always visit us, but that's okay. Maybe their
bike busted a flat. lol

The kids got really creative with the gifts they made that year and they took it so seriously—they’d draw in corners away from everyone else, and they would legitimately get upset if they thought their intended recipient saw the gift before they were supposed to. Everyone put their gifts under the tree separately, and Christmas morning everyone was still excited to see what had been made for them and what the others thought of their gifts. My bigger gift to everyone was dinner, which I made by myself for the first time. There was no arguing, no lack of gratitude, no disappointment or sadness. We even discussed the importance of the day and what it means beyond the material, where they yet again showed just how intelligent they were and answered in their own ways why the day was important to them. Yet again, it was a day full of love and togetherness, everything I think Christmas should be.  

I can't even remember the last time I saw carolers. Do they still have them in
your neighborhood?

Seven years have gone by since that Christmas, and a lot has changed since then….well, the finances haven’t LOL…but the family has changed. One of my brothers has since moved out and is about to be a father for the first time, the youngest is now 14, and we don’t have many family traditions anymore. The kids are beyond the age where making gifts on lined paper is still acceptable, unfortunately, so that’s a goner.  I cherish those times that it wasn’t about the gifts and we were all together, happy and warm and full. Sometimes that feeling was gone the following day and everyone was back to bickering and messing with each other again as kids often do, but the past year has been particularly hard on the family and if nothing else, it showed me that days like the second Christmas I just described are long gone. That realization makes me sad during this time of year, but I have good memories to rely on and that’s what I use to get through.

 

You have to darken the skin a little bit...but that's us. LOL

I know those Christmases don’t sound like much at all, and I guess when compared to those who receive boatloads of presents, have a close family or at least have some solidarity, it isn’t anything big. For me, though, they mean the world. Without making this a pity post, I haven’t had beaucoup amounts of love and happiness in my life. I’ll know someone loves me, but I’m not always able to feel it. Those two Christmases, I did. I felt that if I had nobody else in this world to love me, my family did. I had God and my family, and that was all I needed. I don’t feel that so much anymore, so those memories resonate a lot more with me now. My biggest and happiest Christmas memories were about love, not presents. That was my entire point. I could have just said that, but I wanted to share my stories first. Lol

Even though my stories probably aren’t the best, they were pivotal moments in my life. That first Christmas showed me the real importance of the day, showed me what it felt like to receive something out of love and not because I put it on a list, and it showed me the value of every gift, regardless of size or cost. I didn’t need the tree overflowing with presents to still feel like I had the world and that stuck with me; it’s something I hope to show my own rugrats some day, if I ever have any. The second Christmas showed me that when necessary, family can come together and selflessly give of themselves, caring only about the other’s happiness, and that you can give of yourself without needing one dollar in your pocket. That Christmas was much more about it being better to give than receive, and everyone still went to bed happy that night. There weren’t any new mp3 players or clothes to brag about when the kids went back to school, but it didn’t matter to them. I’ve always been pretty resourceful with the upbringing that I’ve had, but the kids don’t often show that they have grasped said ability. It was a great feeling, even if they only showed it that one year, to see that they did indeed grasp it and used it when it was needed the most. That’s something else I’d hope to pass on to my spawn someday.

Aww, look at the little snow family. Those legs are too cute.

But to wrap things up, Christmas has the potential to be a wonderful holiday. It also has the potential to be an awful day that you spend waiting for it to end. It’s about what you make of it, what you choose to learn from it, how you can contribute to it being the best it can be no matter your financial circumstance. Find your source of warmth and love today and hold it near. And if you’re already having a wonderful Christmas and don’t need my unsolicited advice, carry on! LOL

I guess Mommy kissed Santa Claus after he finished helping her with the tree.
lol

How do you keep the Christmas spirit alive in your house? Do you have any favorite Christmas memories? Let me hear ‘em if you do, drop me a comment! Leave your comment….then get your duff off the computer (or phone..or tablet…or whatever lol) and go make some more!  I’ll close this out with my favorite Christmas song…and it’s an oldie but too goodie…Mr. Nat King Cole with the classic “The Christmas Song.” Merry Christmas!!