Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Mandy's Note...

Sorry folks, I meant to post my TNT Preview and May's TNT in Review yesterday but I've been going through a hard time in my personal life, so I've been really stressed out and usually when I'm stressed I lose motivation. I usually don't post much about my personal life on this blog as I want this to be my escape and a happy place for all visitors who can share their love of vintage with me so I prefer not to have a lot of attention placed on myself, but I'll make an exception today just so you know what's been going on with me. 

In short, my life isn't the most stable at the moment due to a lot of family trouble. Let's just say that there's a lot of yelling and leave it at that. In addition to that, my current classes are really stressing me out, my school charged my tuition early but hasn't processed my fin aid yet so my tuition has been unpaid for a month now, my mom is having surgery sometime this month or next which leaves me to run the household for the week she'll be in the hospital and a month afterward because she'll be on bed rest, my anxiety is spiking as a result and I got a message from my laptop (I named her Cookie so if I ever say this name later that's what I'm referring to LOL) this morning that my hard disk is failing, yet another expense that I cannot afford. I’ve been doing diagnostics tests on it and trying to find out if there’s any way I can fix or prolong it, at least until I can find out what money is coming from school so I can buy another drive. I’d rather do that than replace Cookie; I’ve already got 3 other laptop carcasses littered throughout my room and don’t need another one. Obviously it's a lot to deal with and I'm doing all of this by myself, and still trying to keep this and my other two blogs current as well as start a YouTube channel that I've had brewing in the brain for a couple of months. I think my plate is full but I'm feeling pretty empty at the moment. I'm lacking in motivation, time and resources in just about every situation I just mentioned so I’m feeling rather ragged. And believe it or not, that’s just some of what’s going on. Definitely not the whole pie, though.

I don't have a lot for this blog yet, so I don't have a lot of followers at the moment. I have yet to find the time and some of the resources to design my logo and revamp the site to something that really fits, so it's hard to promote something that has no logo or visual symbol. Because of that and the fact that the world of online vintage grows more by the day, sometimes it's a little discouraging. I've touched on some of this same discouragement in one of my other blogs and it was actually part of the reason why I took such a long hiatus from this blog last year. That and a bit of writer's block because at the time I was only covering vintage movies and reviews. This time the writer's block portion is the least of my worries; I come up with new post ideas all the time. I've got a lot of fun posts planned, fashion, DIY's, weddings and all kinds of goodies. What I'm lacking, especially right now, is the time and the concentration to get the posts done and still stretch them out to last the summer. I feel like running down the street screaming sometimes. LOL 

Anywhew, so I’ve got all that going on and sometimes I just don’t have the energy or the enthusiasm to write. I’m one of those who feels that you can read someone’s energy through their words, and I don’t want to seem bored to write these blogs because I honestly am not. I love this blog because I love vintage and I enjoy finally having an outlet to explore it more. Sometimes it’s a little challenging to find photos or resources for the post I want to write, but it’s never boring because more than likely, I wasn’t aware of the info I find so I get to learn while relaying it to all of you. I am very excited to think of where I believe this blog can go and I can’t wait to share it with a larger audience. So I don’t enjoy writing when I’m feeling blue or angry because I feel that it can come across through my words. I don’t want my personal life and my personal feelings making their way onto this digital notepad because I’d like you to stay with me once you read.

But back on subject, that’s what’s been going on with me which is why for the most part you’ve still only been getting the TNT Previews every week. Today my internet is acting a little wonky and I don’t know if I’ll be able to grab my picture from the Net and post today before it goes back out for another couple of hours (and keep in mind, I’m also working on a sick Cookie so I don’t know if she’ll run correctly or too slow for words), but cross your fingers. If I don’t get it up here by tonight I promise it’ll be up here tomorrow. I’m trying to maintain a bit of a schedule by posting TNT’s from Monday to Wednesday but this coincides with my classroom discussions so sometimes it gets a little hard. Thank goodness I’m almost finished with school, and after these last three weeks of my current classes finish I believe I’ll have a week vacation and then I’ll only have one class at a time instead of two, so I’ll have more time to post on here. Yay!

Well I guess that’s all I wanted to talk to you about this evening. I just wanted to let you in a little bit more and assure you that I’m not getting lax in my postings on purpose; I’ve just got a lot going on. But I’m working on it and hopefully I’ll be able to post as much as I like in no time. So as I have to ask you from time to time, be a little patient with me for just a little while. I hope your evening is spent watching a beautiful sunset and smelling flowers in the breeze; if it is then I envy you. lol But seriously, I hope your week so far has been wonderful and that tomorrow is even better. And thank you for listening. 

                                                                                      --M

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